Smackdown: James v. Taylor

The good news: Oft-injured Viking DE Erasmus James finally saw some action. The bad news: It was not the sort of action we really want to see James getting, since it involved him punching Chester Taylor in the face.

The scuffle, as such things are always described, took place Wednesday after practice. No one really knows what started it, but it fortunately ended just as Chester was reportedly about to go Rowdy Roddy Piper on James with a chair (I just dated myself with that reference but I don’t care). Coach Brad Childress decided to call a team meeting immediately after the incident, perhaps so his players could air any other grievances in a more constructive (i.e. non-violent) way, or perhaps just because he wanted to look like he has a handle on the situation even if he doesn’t. Taylor is said to have sported a shiner under his eye in the locker room Thursday, while James was placed on the injured list with a hurt shoulder.

A few things on this. First…it does not look good that players are getting in fights with each other. I don’t want to hear any of this crap about how they’re showing spunk and feistiness either – maybe in training camp a scuffle is a sign of good, positive, aggressive energy, but at this point of the season, with the team 1-3, it only means guys are angry and frustrated and sick of the sight of each other.

Second…Erasmus James is clearly an idiot. If you’re going to punch someone, Erasmus, go punch Fred Evans or Robert Ferguson or some other slug who, like you, hasn’t contributed a lick to this team. Don’t go socking Chester Taylor, our starting running back (according to Chilly) and a guy who has given a lot to the squad the last couple of years. I don’t even care if Chester walks up to you and calls you a malingering no-account knuckleheaded loser – you don’t hit him. By the way, you are a malingering no-account knuckleheaded loser. And ha ha – you hurt your shoulder hitting Chester and now you’re on the injured list again. I guess that means you won’t be playing Sunday against the Bears. Gosh, we’ll really miss your contribution Erasmus.

Third…Chester Taylor may need to seek anger-management training. Seriously – he was going to whack Erasmus with a chair? What, did he think he was Ricky The Dragon Steamboat all of a sudden? Does anger always cause Chester to want to get his Bam Bam Bigelow on? Will I never stop with my lame late-80s wrestler references? Not until I’ve mentioned Baron von Raschke and Lex Luger.

There. Now I’m happy.