Kleptomaniac
A hilarious story via PFT: Former Bengals running back Rudi Johnson was visiting the Detroit Lions hoping to land a job toting the rock. Johnson apparently went straight from the airport to a meeting with Matt Millen, and had to leave his bags outside Millen’s office (which, contrary to belief, is not located in the back of an Arby’s). As if having to meet with Matt Millen weren’t bad enough, when Johnson left the office he discovered the bags and everything in them were missing. Millen and Johnson searched in vain for the stuff, and Millen finally had to offer Johnson money out of his own pocket to keep him in condoms and lip balm until things could get sorted. Someone then had the bright idea to check the surveillance video (at least someone in Detroit can think) and guess what they discovered? The bags were taken by, of all people, Lions running back Tatum Bell, whose job Rudi was trying to snatch. Bell was found and confronted, and claimed he thought the stuff was someone else’s. The bags and their contents were ultimately returned to Johnson and charges won’t be pressed. Not surprisingly, Bell is now a former Detroit Lion – though that was going to happen even before he decided to make off with another man’s property in full view of security cameras. The Lions remain, to our eternal amusement, the Lions.










