Jared Allen Threatens Rude Bar Patron With Violence, Winds Up on TMZ

Generally speaking, if one is a pro athlete, one would like to avoid ever winding up gracing the virtual pages of TMZ, the gossip site renowned for chronicling the travails of fallen heroes like Ben Roethlisberger and Tiger Woods.

Imagine our nervousness then when we discovered that our favorite animal-slaughtering mullet-man Jared Allen had gotten involved in a tavern altercation serious enough to warrant mention on that very website.

Add to that our recollections of Jared’s previous alcohol issues, which earned him a four-game suspension as a member of the Chiefs, and you can see why we cringed.

Then we watched the actual video, taken outside a tavern in Scottsdale, and read about the circumstances surrounding the event… and pretty much relaxed.

Yes, the stuff Jared yells at the other guy in the video is scary, but his anger is understandable given the word the other guy allegedly hurled at the future Mrs. Allen (the woman seen pushing him away in the vid, I would presume). I won’t repeat the word here, but you know the one I mean. It’s the one you never, ever call a woman unless you want her boyfriend/husband/fiancee/father/brother/uncle to hit you some place really hard.

Jared, being a man of honor who always protects his lady, clearly wanted to punch the other guy really hard. That he didn’t hit him speaks well of Jared’s restraint, and reassures us that he is indeed staying sober.

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