At long last the lockout has been lifted, and the NFL is ready to get back to business as usual. What does the end of the labor nightmare mean to me as a fan of the Vikings?
1. I no longer have to waste my angst on the state of the NFL at large, and can return to focusing on the only thing that matters: how messed up the Vikings are.
2. I can officially start counting down the hours until Madieu Williams gets cut.
3. I can stop hating Roger Goodell and start hating Mark Dayton.
4. I can go back to the wonderful days when I didn’t know who the heck DeMaurice Smith was.
5. I can go on Twitter without fear of being annoyed by the minute-to-minute lockout status updates. Thanks very much Adam Schefter.
6. After days of viewing Chris Kluwe as some kind of NFL labor sage, I can go back to seeing him for what he really is: a goofball punter who plays too many video games.
7. I can stop pretending to understand legal terms like “injunction.” To me that sounds like something on a railroad. Or a skin disease.
8. I can once again ignore Mike Florio (I mean let’s face it, the guy’s a lawyer so his lockout coverage has been invaluable. But when the lockout is over he goes back to being another glorified blogger pulling stuff out of his butt.).
9. Instead of griping about how sick I am of the lockout, I can gripe about how sick I am of fantasy football, Brett Favre rumors and that jag-off Aaron Rodgers.
10. Finally I can get myself ready for the season. And what a glorious season it will be, with a rookie quarterback at the helm, a crumbling secondary and a suspect offensive line. 4-12, here we come.