The Five Least Intriguing Teams of 2013

Jun 11, 2013; Florham Park, NJ, USA; New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez (6), New York Jets quarterback Greg McElroy (14) and New York Jets quarterback Geno Smith (7) during the New York Jets minicamp session at the Atlantic Health Jets Training Center. Mandatory Credit: Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

The other day I listed my five most intriguing teams of 2013. Now let’s do the flip-side and talk about the teams that are the absolute least intriguing. These are teams no sane person gives two craps about. And this includes their own fans.

5. San Diego Chargers

The Norv Turner era is mercifully over in San Diego. And now they are coached by…who exactly are they coached by? Actually who cares? Philip Rivers is washed-up and that team is going nowhere. They are a good candidate to finish dead-last in that division. And the fricking Raiders are in that division.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars

Consistently one of the least intriguing teams in the entire league. And that won’t change this year. Who is their quarterback again? I know they didn’t sign Tebow cause he went to New England. Well who really gives a crap? They will be lucky to win four games. The biggest story around this team will be speculation about a move to Los Angeles or London. Move them to frigging Mongolia, who cares?

3. Oakland Raiders

Al Davis’ slow-deteriorating zombie face provided the only real entertainment value in Oakland over the years but now Al is dead. Now the Raiders are just another badly-run NFL franchise with no chance to compete for a playoff spot unless something really bizarre happens. Their quarterback is Matt Flynn? You can’t be serious. Way to go Raiders on that bit, Raiders.

2. Detroit Lions

Can the Lions rebound from their crappy performance in 2012? Who really gives a damn? This is just a team full of thugs with a thug coach. Yes Megatron is amazing. But that defense is trash and Matthew Stafford is just a stat-machine who doesn’t win significant games. Oh but now they have Reggie Bush. So they’ll get back in the playoffs? Please. Bury this franchise cause it’s dead again. The only fun will be watching Jim Schwartz slowly lose the locker room. I hope Suh punches him.

1. New York Jets

The Jets will be marginally less annoying this year without Tim Tebow around. But they will still be insanely annoying because they still have Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez. And now they have Geno Smith who looks like a real turd-in-waiting. Congrats to the Jets on replacing the Cowboys as the team America loves to hate. Actually, congrats to ESPN on that. Their over-coverage of this crapshow team is the real reason everyone hates them.

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