Sep 22, 2013; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier looks on during the first quarter against the Cleveland Browns at Mall of America Field at H.H.H. Metrodome. The Browns defeated the Vikings 31-27. Mandatory Credit: Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Leslie Frazier Won't Name a Starting QB Until Friday, Because Jedi Mind Tricks

That master of gamesmanship Leslie Frazier is keeping the Cowboys on their toes, messing with their defensive preparation, filling their souls with doubt and uncertainty. All by refusing to name his starting quarterback until Friday.

Will it be Christian Ponder behind center for the Vikings or will it be Josh Freeman? Frazier declined to answer the question on Wednesday. He merely waved his hand mysteriously before the faces of the press, opening his eyes really wide and saying in a weird whispery voice, “Only The Shadow knows.”

I asked The Shadow and he wouldn’t say either. Having grown tired of this playing-it-coy crap, I got my pliers and ripped out a couple fingernails. “It’s Freeman!” The Shadow screamed. “Don’t tell Frazier I told you, that guy is a straight-up maniac.”

So yeah, it’s going to be Freeman on Sunday. And if it’s not Freeman there will be quite a scene between Rick Spielman and Leslie Frazier in the locker room.

Do you think Christian Ponder even cares at this point? He’s too busy playing Squints to Sam’s Wendy Peffercorn. Dude has a future as a celebrity impersonator once his playing career is done. Frank Stallone anyone?

ponderstallone

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