Jun 11, 2013; Eden Prairie, MN, USA; A Minnesota Vikings helmet sits on the side of the field at the Minnesota Vikings Minicamp at Winter Park. Mandatory Credit: Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

Paul Allen's Crotch Gets Uncomfortably Close to Dan Barreiro


 

This is what happens when you mix KFAN personalities, booze and wedding music.

You get Paul Allen grinding his freaky crotch against a clearly horrified Dan Barreiro.

This mortifying spectacle unfolded at this weekend’s Meatsauce nuptials (Meatsauce got married, yes to a human woman).

 

photo credit: KFAN

photo credit: KFAN

 

You know it was an ambush by Allen. You know he was just laying in wait like a scorpion, hoping for his chance to molest Barreiro.

If you’ve viewed Allen’s endless scrapbook of pictures taken with fans, you know he’s not big on personal boundaries.

Your personal space is not sacred to Paul Allen.

Dan Barreiro, on the other hand, seems like the kind of guy who needs to maintain a buffer zone around himself at all times. Preferably a wide buffer zone.

Like, ten feet at least.

That explains why in the picture Barreiro appears to be fleeing in terror.

Really, I can’t blame him. If I saw drunk Paul Allen coming toward me, twitching and frothing, I’d run for it too.

I’d be out of there faster than Christian Ponder bailing on the pocket.

Please tell me Skrillex was playing.

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