The rankings are based on numerous factors including “Affordability,” “Coaching,” “Fan Relations,” “Players” and “Stadium Experience.”  Predictably, the Purple do not fare well in stadium experience, ranking 117th; nor does ESPN think much of the coaching staff, ranking it 111th.  The Vikes are seen as having plenty of talent though, ranking 54th in players, and they also do well in a category called “Bang for the Buck”
(which I’m assuming isn’t dirty, even though it sort of sounds like it), placing 46th.

And what does all this mean?  The Vikings have a crap stadium, crap coaches and pretty good players.  Thanks ESPN the Magazine for offering up these marvelous insights.

According to NFL.com, Harvin showed up on Sunday with the rest of the 256 draft picks who were scheduled to attend, but soon notified the medical staff of his problem and was dismissed.  This will all sound familiar to Vikings fans, who remember that Harvin, while in the airport ready to leave for Minnesota for rookie minicamp in May, came down with a virus and ended up in the hospital taking intravenous fluids.

There have thus far been no further details on what is ailing Percy this time, but really, does it matter?  All we need to know as football fans is that Percy Harvin is either incredibly susceptible to every bug going around or just doesn’t like showing up for stuff.  I can relate to that latter possibility, having missed many a boring day of fifth grade by coming down with a stomach ache that was, funny, all better by nine o’clock.

Let’s hope that, when it comes time to strap it on, Percy is able to keep his lunch down, otherwise someone will have to lay in a supply of puke-drying sawdust.  There might be some left around the Metrodome from when Robert Smith was on the team.

And, if you would, take another minute to subscribe to the Viking Age feed.  It’s very handy.

Brett Favre’s agent denied another report Tuesday evening that the quarterback has agreed to a contract with the Vikings.

Two days after the Web site Pro Football Talk reported that a deal was in place and that the team had approved the production of Favre jerseys, WCCO-TV provided a similar report with a few minor differences, namely that the quarterback’s contract includes “heavy incentives.”

Asked in an e-mail if there was any truth to the WCCO report, agent Bus Cook wrote one word: “Nope.”

Cook did not elaborate.

I know it’s Bus’s job to deny everything until it’s time to confirm it, but don’t you think the guy would get a little sick after awhile of looking like Baghdad Bob?  I guess if you pay a guy enough, it takes the sting out of seeming like a buffoon.

Now back to Alaska…

Then again, maybe nothing will happen.  Maybe Brett will take a week off from being Brett, and Ed Werder will take a week off from making up stories, and the whole sports media will take a week off from speculating.  In that case, I should have no problem taking a week off.  Well, screw it then…see you guys next Tuesday (unless something happens).

We caught wind this morning of a tip from a very unusual source.  A member of the military — an officer serving in Afghanistan — contacted us with two eyebrow-raising-nuggets that had made their way to him on the other side of the globe, from credible sources.

We pondered using it even without corroboration under the thinking that, if a guy in harm’s way would get a thrill by fooling us into using a Bradshaw-Is-Dead-style rumor, then we’d be glad to give him that thrill in exchange for the sacrifices he’s making for the rest of us.

Because, however, we’ll soon be working with a legitimate media organization (or, as the case may be, undermining its legitimacy), we decided to poke around a bit.

After hitting a dead end, we got in touch with a source who would know the truth.  The source explained that no information could be given, adding “I will not deny it either, I will leave it at that.”

So with that extended preface (you can wake up now, by the way), let’s get to the meat.

The rumor that the source would neither confirm nor deny is that the Vikings already have signed Brett Favre, and that the team and Favre are waiting to release the news.

If accurate, this means that the Vikings have a signed contract that they have yet to submit to the league office.  Setting aside for now the question of whether league rules permit such tactics, it puts into perspective recent developments such as Favre’s use of “we” when discussing the matter with Artie Lange’s biatch, the visit by a Vikings trainer to Favre to check on his arm, and reports that coach Brad Childress wanted to see Favre participate in some of the offseason workouts.

These details all make much more sense if Favre already is a member of the team.

The other bit of information, which we also posed to the source who declined to confirm or deny the rumor, is that the Vikings already have green-lighted the production by Reebok of purple jerseys bearing the number 4 — and the five-letter name that isn’t pronounced like it’s spelled.

I’ll give Herr Florio credit for this much:  unlike the guys at ESPN, he isn’t afraid to give details about where his information is coming from (without, obviously, giving away the identities of the sources).  Maybe Ed Werder and the boys would have fewer credibility issues if they too would be so forthcoming.

As for Florio’s story…frankly, it doesn’t really change anything.  If Favre is signed and it hasn’t been announced, then we wait for it to be announced.  If he hasn’t signed, we wait for him to sign.  Either way, we wait.

All kidding aside:  clearly, when Favre signs, somebody is going to have to go.  The obvious choice for axing would be John David Booty; not only is he already superfluous anyway, but getting rid of him would save Brett the unpleasant task of having to knuckle-punch him in the arm until he agreed to give up his number.

Some have argued, however, that it makes more sense to dump Tarvaris Jackson, who, with Favre on the team, would seem just as worthless as Booty.  I disagree though.  We must keep in mind that Favre will be 40, and didn’t exactly finish strong last season.  Should Brett’s arm go out, I would rather have Sage Rosenfels take his place at the starter with Tarvaris backing him up, than be stuck with only Booty as the back-up behind either Sage or Tarvaris.  It’s not like Tarvaris is making a ton of money anyway; plus, who knows, maybe Brett’s presence would prove beneficial to him.

Just don’t ask Brett to mentor Tarvaris.  We know he doesn’t like that kind of talk.

A guarantee:  if Brooks Bollinger plays well in the UFL, more than one idiot will scream that the Vikings should never have let him go.  “Brett Favre?  Yeah, he’s okay, but that Bollinger kid…I would’ve liked to see the Vikes give him more of a shot.”  And there are people who still think the earth is flat too.

One specific thing Edward advises is that Favre forgo the personal locker room he had in New York and just be one of the guys.

“You’ve got to go to war with these guys,” Edwards said. “If you don’t want to share a locker room with them, that’s kind of b.s.”

Edwards added, “Everybody else has got to share a locker room. What makes you so different?”

He’s dead-on with this.  Of course, Brad Childress and the organization will not take Ray’s advice, but will instead acquiesce to every diva-like demand Favre sets before them.  Not only will they give him his own locker room, they’ll probably provide him with his own wing at Winter Park, a private jet so he can fly back to Mississippi and get in a few hours of grass-cutting during the week, and a special Brett-only shop at the Mall of America stocked to the gills with Wranglers, Prilosec and Vicodin.

We will do the most we can to get the players we need to be a better team. If that means Brett Favre or means sombody else, we’ll go after them. We’ll just have to wait and see. Right now it’s all up to Brett Favre to determine what his future is.

And Chilly:

[Favre] said everything that he needed to say. He’s trying to make a push to get back. I know he won’t play unless he feels like he’s capable of playing at level he’s played over the course of his career.

There’s no downside to good players. As far as distractions, if distractions are good football players, we’ll take all the distractions.

The fun is all gone from this story for sure.  Once Favre confirmed he was coming back…over.  Nothing but generic statements from here on in.  There isn’t even any fake dirt for Ed Werder to dig up.  And there’s certainly no longer any point in dispatching Rachel Nichols to Mississippi to stand around waiting for Favre to appear, like a Yeti.  That was futile anyway; Favre said on Joe Buck that, when he saw the satellite trucks, he just snuck out of his house through the back door.  ESPN couldn’t figure out that he had a back door?  Now I know how Woody Paige and Skip Bayless remain employed by that network.  They are that clueless.