Frankly, I think there needs to be an investigation.  Columbo needs to be brought in or maybe Kojak or Kolchak the Night Stalker.  Or maybe O.J. – he’s good at looking for the real perpetrators of things.  Oh, that’s right – O.J.’s kind of busy right now.  Well, one of those other guys then.  They need to start turning over rocks and tapping phones and hiring whoever Bill Belichick uses to spy on other teams, so the truth of this conspiracy can be exposed.  So far, we know Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson are in on it, and Jon Gruden as well.  What we don’t know is how deep this really goes.  If there might be other measures being taken against us.  Do we know the full story on how Bernard Berrian‘s toe got messed up?  Are we sure Visanthe Shiancoe isn’t being slipped some kind of drug that’s causing him to lose strength in his hands at critical moments in games?  And what about Tarvaris Jackson himself?  Is some kind of chicanery to blame for his utter ineptitude?  Is the playbook he’s studying actually the Vikings playbook or a different one someone swapped in for it without him noticing?  Someone may have snuck into his bedroom at night, tiptoed around his stuffed animals and snatched the real playbook from under his Jonas Brothers pillow. This would explain a lot of mysterious stuff:  Like why T-Jack is handing off to Chester Taylor on 3rd and 5.  It was actually supposed to be a 10-yard out to Bobby Wade.  You know, a play that had a chance of netting the 5 yards necessary to get a 1st down.

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the Vikings are victims of a massive plot.  Until we uncover the truth of this scheme, and rid the league of those responsible, the Vikings will never have a fair shot at putting the Kick-Ass in the Kick-Ass Offense.