Disgraced former Vikings left tackle and all-around eating machine Bryant McKinnie has begun his campaign to get back into the NFL. Today McKinnie’s agent Drew Rosenhaus reportedly sent an email to all 32 NFL teams declaring McKinnie’s availability.
“Free agent Bryant McKinnie would be willing to sign a one year contract for $2,500,000 plus reasonable incentives,” reads Rosenhaus’ electronic announcement. “Please let me know if you have an interest.”
The “reasonable incentives” part is what made me laugh. Hmm…how about a bonus if he gets his weight under 400? And a weekly bonus if he gets to each Sunday without suffering a cholesterol-related heart attack? And an extra $10,000 if he agrees never to touch a Big Mac again?
Here’s what I’d demand of McKinnie before I’d even think of signing him: That he become a vegan. Get him in touch with Prince Fielder, maybe he can get a few pointers. Also, if he so much as shows up in the vicinity of a Miami nightclub during the bye week, he should be immediately cut, no questions asked.
Obviously Rosenhaus is doing what he has to do by sending out this email, but still, the idea of McKinnie making any demands after the way things ended with the Vikings is kind of laughable. At this point Bryant should be focused on getting in shape, and once that happens, then he can contact teams and set up meetings and try to get a job.
I would personally be shocked if McKinnie is ready by the beginning of the season. Unless the embarrassment of this whole thing has finally taught him a little motivation. Then maybe.
One last note: It says in La Canfora’s story that Rosenhaus sent the email to all 32 NFL teams. Wonder what Rick Spielman thought when that particular message showed up in his inbox. Probably the same thing I think when I get one of those Nigerian prince spam messages.