The Chiefs Will Go Down, They Will Go Down Hard

The Vikings tangle with their old preseason scrimmage (and Super Bowl) rivals the Kansas City Chiefs this Sunday. The rivalry is of course a bit friskier this year thanks to Turk McBride – a third-string KC defensive end who took it upon himself to call the Vikings offensive tackles soft after one of the aforementioned scrimmages. This got back to Bryant McKinnie who made it clear he wasn’t going to forget it. Of course, since McBride will see little if any action, it’s unlikely an opportunity will arise for pay-back. Sort of lame if you ask me – some guy talking smack who probably isn’t even going to get in a game. Easy to be a tough guy when you won’t be called upon to back your words up. But that’s the sort of thing we expect from a Kansas City Chief – those guys ain’t the brightest bulbs in the strand, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, in order to spice things up around here and on our sister site Arrowhead Addict, a wager has been proposed. The bet: Should the Chiefs win on Sunday, I will be forced to declare Monday “Kansas City Chiefs” day here on The Viking Age, and will have to write gushing, glowing posts about the team all day. Should the Vikes win, the Arrowhead Addict guys will have to spend Monday talking up the Vikings. I accepted this wager with no nervousness whatsoever, knowing the Vikings will certainly go into Kansas City and handle the Chumps. And I don’t want to hear anything about home-field advantages and teams having their backs up against the wall and Larry Johnson being ready to bust out – everyone knows the Chiefs are roadkill this year, that Herm Edwards is a weak-ass coach and that Larry Johnson is an overpaid prima donna who’s going to end up curled up in the fetal position crying like a baby by the time the Williams boys are done crushing his bones. So I say bring it on Chiefs, and bring it on Arrowhead Addict.

And now, in the interest of kicking the smack-talk up yet another notch, I proudly present:

Ten Reasons The Vikings Are Cooler Than The Chiefs:

1. Our coach doesn’t look like Frankenstein’s scrawny illegitimate son.
2. Our star running back doesn’t hold out for millions of dollars then go out and not even crack a hundred for the first two games put together.
3. Best Viking receivers ever: Cris Carter, Randy Moss, Anthony Carter, Ahmad Rashad. Best Chiefs receivers ever: Um… Er… Give me a second, I’ll think of someone…
4. We don’t have anyone on our coaching staff named Gunther. Seriously. What is that guy? An ex-German porn-star?
5. Our defensive backs don’t do things like this.
6. Ragnar could drink any Chiefs fan under the table, then pick up a whole keg and crush it in his hand like a paper cup.
7. Chilly’s laminated play-sheet. Seriously. Is there anything on earth cooler than that?
8. Viking bloggers never get so down on their team that they have to resort to posting pictures of their back-up QB’s skanky wife as a way of distracting fans from their misery.
9. The Vikes have actually been to a conference title game in living memory.
10. We never had to declare a hazmat emergency after Tony Gonzalez took off his socks.

View The Arrowhead Addict’s Top 10 Reasons The Chiefs Are Cooler Than The Vikings