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10 Reasons Brett Favre Is Not Jesus
Packer fans seem to think their quarterback Brett Favre is Jesus. Well, I can assure you that he certainly is not. In fact, Jesus and Brett Favre have very little in common. Here then are ten reasons Brett Favre is not Jesus:
1. Jesus was born 2000 years ago. But Brett Favre isn’t a day over 600.
2. Jesus died and was resurrected only once, whereas Favre has been left for dead by the media numerous times and brought himself back (often by torching mediocre secondaries while in a state of grief over the recent death of a loved-one).
3. Jesus, as far as I know, was never hooked on Vicodin. Though he was known to munch the occasional suspicious leaf.
4. Jesus performed great miracles like turning water into wine and bringing back the dead. The only miracle Favre ever performed was making Donald Driver and Robert Brooks look like real NFL receivers.
5. Jesus never starred in a movie with Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. He did however have a cameo in Porky’s 2, but he made sure that was left out of his official bio.
6. Jesus never took a dive so Michael Strahan could get a meaningless sack record. He did occasionally let Simon the Zealot beat him at Yahtzee however.
7. Jesus relieved the suffering of the masses by giving them hope, then died for their sins. Favre relieved the suffering of Packer fans by bringing them a Super Bowl, but has thus far managed to put off the whole dying thing. Any time now Brett…
8. Jesus’s mortal enemy was Pontius Pilate. Brett Favre’s mortal enemy is acid-reflux.
9. Let’s face it - Jesus would never be caught dead in Wisconsin.
10. Jesus never had sex with John Madden.
This was lame!
September 30th, 2007 at 2:45 pmum….you’re an idiot. you’re right ….he’s not jesus. HE’S COOLER THAN JESUS! BECAUSE HE KICKS THE VIKINGS ASS A LOT!!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:23 pmyea 4 real what was the vikings 07 resord again?
February 17th, 2008 at 10:52 amand what was the packers?
well that the stats do the talking
so fuck the vikings
Crap like this is why I hate Vikings fans.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pmWhy are you on a Vikes site again? Anyway, no need to worry because Favre is done. Did you see the Pack’s site today, or do you just browse Vikings sites? Too bad the Pack are no longer a "Cold Weather" team. Enjoy the next 10 years of suck in Green Bay. We’ll be riding Mr. Peterson to the Super Bowl in case you want to jump on board now. Let me spare you your 1 comeback. We have zero Super Bowl rings, but one is coming soon.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:27 pmSo I’m assuming you don’t recall the game when the Packers beat the Vikings even with Adrian Peterson rushing 200 some yards.
Whoever wrote that is the most feeble minded
person on the internet.
Get a life loser.
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 amWow. And this is the reason I HATE living in Minnesota and can not wait to move. Have respect for a guy who has given nothing but respect to anyone he meets. And Brett Favre may not be Jesus but he’s prety damn close.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:31 pmIf Jesus were to ever meet Brett Favre, he would promptly kneel down at Brett’s feet.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:45 amOh god, I think I’m gonna throw up. Hey Paul, WTF do you expect? You’re on a Vikings fan site dumb ass! Hey JD, the Packers overachieved, your hall of fame QB is no more and will be soon forgotten, it’s really gonna hit you guys when you see what you really had at QB when Favre is gone, he made 9-7 teams 13-3, turned 6-10 teams to 10-6. It’s gonna be hillarious when your team go’s 6-10, finally no more trash talking for you guys, you’ll just be put in your place. Pack is Wack, your state smells like my dirty nut sack. hahahaha
March 12th, 2008 at 11:09 amI really hate the goddamn vikings. You guys sucked cock for as long as you’ve been in the league. You’re just pissed off you didn’t get Favre! Now you suck in every sport(Especially since you’ve lost Garnett)and go right ahead and try to “ride” Peterson to the playoffs…Too bad you guys will probably fuck that up and trade him for someone like…I don’t know…a quarterback? Try one once, it’s nice to WIN games! Like they say, you bastards are purple because you’ve been chaking for 40+ years! GO PACK!!!
March 15th, 2008 at 11:21 pmyou viking fans are real fags. whoever wrote this is gay. why would you disrespect BRETT FAVRE for what he did after his father died and lit the raiders up in the memory of his father
March 20th, 2008 at 4:52 pmShow some respect, Superstar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 21st, 2008 at 1:23 amViking fan, packer fan, or whatever, this was lame.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pmFrom a Vikiing fan. Brett was a class act and a joy to watch play. Far from the lack of class exhibited in the language being used by some of his fans. We can have a rivalry without that. Let’s face it, there is no better NFL rivalry than the Vikes and Pack. We don’t have to behave like the jerks in the big markets to have funThanks Steve
April 25th, 2008 at 9:27 pm