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10 Reasons Brett Favre Is Not Jesus
Packer fans seem to think their quarterback Brett Favre is Jesus. Well, I can assure you that he certainly is not. In fact, Jesus and Brett Favre have very little in common. Here then are ten reasons Brett Favre is not Jesus:
1. Jesus was born 2000 years ago. But Brett Favre isn’t a day over 600.
2. Jesus died and was resurrected only once, whereas Favre has been left for dead by the media numerous times and brought himself back (often by torching mediocre secondaries while in a state of grief over the recent death of a loved-one).
3. Jesus, as far as I know, was never hooked on Vicodin. Though he was known to munch the occasional suspicious leaf.
4. Jesus performed great miracles like turning water into wine and bringing back the dead. The only miracle Favre ever performed was making Donald Driver and Robert Brooks look like real NFL receivers.
5. Jesus never starred in a movie with Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. He did however have a cameo in Porky’s 2, but he made sure that was left out of his official bio.
6. Jesus never took a dive so Michael Strahan could get a meaningless sack record. He did occasionally let Simon the Zealot beat him at Yahtzee however.
7. Jesus relieved the suffering of the masses by giving them hope, then died for their sins. Favre relieved the suffering of Packer fans by bringing them a Super Bowl, but has thus far managed to put off the whole dying thing. Any time now Brett…
8. Jesus’s mortal enemy was Pontius Pilate. Brett Favre’s mortal enemy is acid-reflux.
9. Let’s face it – Jesus would never be caught dead in Wisconsin.
10. Jesus never had sex with John Madden.
This was lame!
September 30th, 2007 at 2:45 pmum….you’re an idiot. you’re right ….he’s not jesus. HE’S COOLER THAN JESUS! BECAUSE HE KICKS THE VIKINGS ASS A LOT!!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:23 pmyea 4 real what was the vikings 07 resord again?
February 17th, 2008 at 10:52 amand what was the packers?
well that the stats do the talking
so fuck the vikings
Crap like this is why I hate Vikings fans.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pmWhy are you on a Vikes site again? Anyway, no need to worry because Favre is done. Did you see the Pack’s site today, or do you just browse Vikings sites? Too bad the Pack are no longer a "Cold Weather" team. Enjoy the next 10 years of suck in Green Bay. We’ll be riding Mr. Peterson to the Super Bowl in case you want to jump on board now. Let me spare you your 1 comeback. We have zero Super Bowl rings, but one is coming soon.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:27 pmSo I’m assuming you don’t recall the game when the Packers beat the Vikings even with Adrian Peterson rushing 200 some yards.
Whoever wrote that is the most feeble minded
person on the internet.
Get a life loser.
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 amWow. And this is the reason I HATE living in Minnesota and can not wait to move. Have respect for a guy who has given nothing but respect to anyone he meets. And Brett Favre may not be Jesus but he’s prety damn close.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:31 pmIf Jesus were to ever meet Brett Favre, he would promptly kneel down at Brett’s feet.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:45 amOh god, I think I’m gonna throw up. Hey Paul, WTF do you expect? You’re on a Vikings fan site dumb ass! Hey JD, the Packers overachieved, your hall of fame QB is no more and will be soon forgotten, it’s really gonna hit you guys when you see what you really had at QB when Favre is gone, he made 9-7 teams 13-3, turned 6-10 teams to 10-6. It’s gonna be hillarious when your team go’s 6-10, finally no more trash talking for you guys, you’ll just be put in your place. Pack is Wack, your state smells like my dirty nut sack. hahahaha
March 12th, 2008 at 11:09 amI really hate the goddamn vikings. You guys sucked cock for as long as you’ve been in the league. You’re just pissed off you didn’t get Favre! Now you suck in every sport(Especially since you’ve lost Garnett)and go right ahead and try to “ride” Peterson to the playoffs…Too bad you guys will probably fuck that up and trade him for someone like…I don’t know…a quarterback? Try one once, it’s nice to WIN games! Like they say, you bastards are purple because you’ve been chaking for 40+ years! GO PACK!!!
March 15th, 2008 at 11:21 pmyou viking fans are real fags. whoever wrote this is gay. why would you disrespect BRETT FAVRE for what he did after his father died and lit the raiders up in the memory of his father
March 20th, 2008 at 4:52 pmShow some respect, Superstar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 21st, 2008 at 1:23 amViking fan, packer fan, or whatever, this was lame.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pmFrom a Vikiing fan. Brett was a class act and a joy to watch play. Far from the lack of class exhibited in the language being used by some of his fans. We can have a rivalry without that. Let’s face it, there is no better NFL rivalry than the Vikes and Pack. We don’t have to behave like the jerks in the big markets to have funThanks Steve
April 25th, 2008 at 9:27 pmbrett farve finally retired haha. i like the last one that is probably true.
June 1st, 2008 at 3:12 pmYeah I remember beating the hell out of the Vikings that last time we played. Oh and “the real viking fan”…your team sucks so bad they couldn’t win even if Jesus was your QB. For God Sake you had Randy Moss as your WR and you still sucked! GO FUCK A FISH FAGGOT!
June 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 amyou bucnh of vikings faggets, we kicked your ass 34-0 this year, well do it again, id like to see you win 3 superbowls, but you havent one a single. brett favre is way better then any of your fagget black qb’s fuck off whens the last time you were 13-3 or in the playoffs?
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:59 pmand its not like we have a huge rivalry with you vikings, its alot more with chicago but still dont be talking shit on brett you faggets
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:03 pmWow this dude is totally in denial, go jack off on some cheese and eat it bitch.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:10 amIf it isn’t such a huge rivalry why do you come whining here all the time. Live on the Minn/Wisc border and tell me it isn’t a rivalry. If you know where the border is.
July 4th, 2008 at 7:01 pmIt all depends on what the teams records are during the course of year, if the Packers and Vikings were both 8-1 and the Bears sucked, of course the Vikings would be there bigger rival, and that goes both ways. Another interesting fact could be what part of Wisconsin your from…. Pack fans load up both HHH Metrodom and Soldier field because there both 45 minutes away from the Wis. border, so if your from Millwaukee you hate the Bears more, if your from Eau Claire/NorthWestern Wisconsin you hate the Vikings more.
July 5th, 2008 at 5:04 amVery good observation Ryan. Thanks. My relatives were from the EauClaire area but I also had friends in the Mil area who seemed more interested in the Vikes than the Bears so that would influence my observation of a rivalry. They are both good ones to say the least so it makes the 1st Mon night game that much more fun as a nationally televised feature. Have a happy 4th weekend!
July 5th, 2008 at 11:11 amhey great one! compare records since the vikes joined the league. see whats up you fucking prick!
July 8th, 2008 at 5:48 pmOkay? Your reffering to what now?
July 9th, 2008 at 5:15 pmComparing head to head records I’m assuming, Ryan and it is not that big of margain but Angilina didn’t really bother to see that but we don’t cuss and act like it is the only thing in life (a game) but that is all Green Bay has to offer. What happened last year and past years is nothing when the ball is kicked off Day 1 in Sept. Just ask the Patriots. So Angelo, go have another beer, cuss your wife out for burning your dinner and beat your kids cause you are bored without football. Then try growing up by discussing your Packer issues with Packer fans instead of spending your time searching the web for rival sites. Maybe the Bears and Lions fans will love to hear from you…probobly not!
July 10th, 2008 at 11:33 amJust remember, the vikes are UNDEFEATED against the fudge packers in the playoffs all-time.
September 12th, 2008 at 6:46 pmAnd Purple is a gay color.
November 14th, 2008 at 2:39 pmi like cheese, but the packers still suck. u cant compare jesus to a bunch of rich football players, o and to whoever said that jesus would kneel at favres feet i have one thing to say: FALSE
December 6th, 2008 at 11:19 amhe is a fricking football player, who cares. all of u people need to settle down. for the record the packers suck without favre and the vikings and bears kick ass peace out
does anyone remember last year when to of the three losses of gb came from the great state of illinois? well i do. i was actually visiting my relatives in chicago, and i was sitting on the couch, watching nick frost try to punt, i tell u it was better than a stand up comedian. and after the game i found it comical when favre said “these were the worst conditions i have ever played in”. o really, you have played at lambeau for 4000 years and that was the worst weather youve played in. i dont think so, u just want an excuse for getting swept by da bears! go bears go, suck it pack.
December 6th, 2008 at 11:25 amThats all bullshit and lies dont listen to these fags who wrote this packers are better than so FUCK YOU IF YOU WROTE THIS
June 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pmwould any of you douchebags like to rethink your statements and this blog since hes your qb now?
November 8th, 2009 at 2:35 pm