Andy Reid's Ten Favorite Things About Being an Eagle

Hey guys. I’m Andy Reid, coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. I’ve been asked by the nice folks at The Viking Age to tell my ten favorite things about being part of the best franchise in the whole NFL, the Eagles. It’s not easy to pick out just ten things, but I’ll give it a try…

1. The wonderful Eagles fans. I would be remiss if I did not start out mentioning our terrific fans. They are definitely the most loyal in all the NFL. They never, ever get down on the team, or boo us, or engage in criticism when we’re not playing well. Actually, I was kidding about that. The truth is that Eagles fans are stroppier than a bunch of menopausal old ladies. But that’s why we love them. Do we love them? Yes…

2. Free cheesesteak. Everywhere I go in Philadelphia, people are always buying me cheesesteak. I love cheesesteak. But you know what I love even more than cheesesteak? A good cheesesteak crap. Let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve scarfed one of those bad boys then hit the john for a good ten minute rectal work-out. Yup, cheesesteak is great going in, and even better coming out.

3. Free advice from Ron Jaworski. I’m so grateful that Jaws has me on speed-dial, so he can call me any time of the day or night to advise me on strategy. Many’s the time some tip of Jaws’s has come in handy during the course of a game. Of course, Jaws does sort of get carried away sometimes. I mean, I’m not sure I need to be called at three a.m. in the middle of March because Jaws has come up with a great new swing pass we should use with Brian Westbrook against a 3-4 defense. Sometimes I think Jaws needs to move out of his mom’s basement and find a woman.

4. The city of Philadelphia. What can I say – it’s the greatest city in the world. Especially if you’re a fan of being jumped in alleys and gang-raped.

5. Working with the press. What a wonderfully rewarding relationship I’ve developed with the media both in Philadelphia and on a national level. It gives me great joy to sit there answering those guys’ questions after every game. I think you can feel all that joy coming out too. People often tell me how animated and happy I seem during those pressers. They tell me, “Andy, you really need to calm down, you know? You’re going to go into orbit soon if you’re not careful.” What can I say – I guess I’m just an excitable guy.

6. Did I mention the cheesesteak?

7. Working with young players. For me, the best thing about coaching is getting to be a part of shaping the careers, and lives, of young talented football players. It’s kind of like being a father – you get this young, fresh, impressionable person, and it’s up to you to guide them, to help them through the maturation process. Of course, that process isn’t always easy – you’re going to have your ups-and-downs with players just as you do with your own kids. But, hopefully, things will work out and the young men you mold will go on to be successful in football and life.

8. Free sweatshirts. I never have to worry about what I’m going to get everyone for Christmas, let me tell you.

9. Oh, okay…someone wants to be sarcastic about my comments in number 7, the stuff about mentoring young players being like raising a kid. Well, up yours, okay? I’m a working man – I’ve got responsibilities. I can’t be there every second of the day to coddle those ungrateful little brats. It ain’t my fault if one of them pops off one day and pulls a gun on a guy at a red light. And no, I have no idea where he got the gun.

10. All right, I’m gonna be honest. You want to know the best thing about being an Eagle? Getting away from your damn family for six months out of the year. I’m serious – if I had to spend anymore time than I do with those spoiled no-good so-and-sos, I’d wind up sealing the garage and cranking up my truck. You give these little bastards everything and what do they do? Get arrested every five minutes, meaning you have to answer even more idiot questions from idiot reporters. As if I don’t have enough to worry about. Seriously – I’d rather spend a week locked in a room with T.O. than put up with those jerks for even ten minutes. Damn it all anyway.