10 Reasons Why the Vikes Will Beat the Lions

The Vikings have a chance to really turn their season around with a win Sunday over Detroit. And the Lions? Their season has already been turned around, and is now headed in the wrong direction. As in, right off a cliff.

Here are 10 reasons why I believe the Vikings will indeed beat Detroit this weekend, putting themselves in good position for a wild-card berth:

1. The blitz. Don’t look now, but the “soft” Viking defense has become a blitz-happy gang. Leslie Frazier has these guys putting big pressure on the QB – just ask Eli Manning, who had people in his face all day last week, and at one point was chased halfway to Newark by Ben Leber before finally succumbing. Jon Kitna was able to stand back there and pick us apart last game, but now he’ll have to face an attacking, and not a passive, Viking D. Have fun on your back Jon.

2. We almost always beat the Lions, don’t we? Mike Tice won 8 straight against the Kitties. 8 straight. Mike Tice. And Chilly won 2 straight against them before the game in Detroit this year. That’s 10-out-of-11. I believe that’s what’s known in the biz as a trend.

3. Adrian Peterson is Rookie-of-the-Year, and Calvin Johnson isn’t. Calvin may have been a higher draft pick, but who has been the more explosive player, the bigger contributor? Yeah, I know, AD’s still coming off the injury. But Megatron’s been in the shop a few times himself too, hasn’t he?

4. God hates Mike Martz. The Almighty used to favor Mike Martz, back when he worked for Dick Vermeil and had Kurt Warner as his QB, but at some point the Lord turned his back on Martz, and now he’s just another wannabe genius.

5. Ryan Longwell has been practicing his fade. Longwell missed the game-winning field goal against Detroit earlier this year, doinking it off the left upright. Since then he’s been working with his good buddy Tiger Woods (not lying – Longwell and Tiger actually are pals) on his fade, and when he kicks it this time it will curve perfectly, leaving him a short iron to reach the green.

6. Tarvaris is now the man. T-Jack has gone from whipping-boy to darling, at least going by the results of the current Viking Age poll. The turn-around in people’s perceptions of Jackson is all the more stunning given that his numbers have not actually improved that much, and that he almost blew the Oakland game for us.

7. The Knight factor. The Vikings, I’ve learned from my exclusive sources, have hired Bobby Knight, and will station him in the stands with a shotgun. He will use said weapon to rain birdshot down upon the Lions while they’re in the huddle, disconcerting them to the point that they are unable to concentrate.

8. Jon Kitna doesn’t deserve to win. And why doesn’t Kitna deserve to win? Cause he made that dumb statement the last time about God healing him from the concussion. Everyone knows God doesn’t heal quarterbacks – except Brett Favre. Well, until last night, anyway.

9. Brad Childress will have something special for the Lions. Chilly has become the master of trickeration. Just ask the Raiders, who were totally caught off-guard by Sidney Rice‘s pass at the beginning of the game. That wily Chilly – I can’t wait to see what he’ll pull from his trick-bag next.

10. You didn’t honestly think the Lions were going to win 10 games and make the playoffs did you? This is the Lions we’re talking about. The only team dumb enough to let Matt Millen run it. Sucker Lions fans thought they were good too. Schmucks.