Everything Power Rankings - July 21

Favre backlash. New Beck. Old Tom Cruise. And Brad Childress makes like Hemingway…

1 The Dark Knight It broke the opening weekend record…maybe not so great an achievement when you realize that the much-maligned Spider Man 3 was the previous record-holder. I’m thinking I’ll hit a matinee second weekend…fewer a-holes to contend with.
2 Favre Fatigue Favre obsession jumped the shark when Timberlake made fun of him at the ESPYs. We can now return to obsessing over normal things like the impending destruction of our civilization.
3 Beck – Modern Guilt Remember when Beck used to be funny and clever? Sorry, but if I want avant-garde pretention,wallpaperiness and zero humor, I’ll listen to Radiohead.
4 Milwaukee Brewers I don’t know if CC Sabathia put them over the top…but he makes them scary. Should be a great dogfight down the stretch between them and the Cubs.
5 Chilly the Fisherman Childress caught a giant fish on vacation in Florida. He says he doesn’t fish much. I guess he’s just lucky. Hopefully, this will carry into the football season.
6 Jason Taylor The Redskins landed Jason Taylor. The NFC East should be crazy. I still don’t see the Skins overtaking the Cowboys or Giants. Washington could be good and still finish 7-9.
7 Flents Ear Plugs What would I do without these little suckers? I’d never get a wink of sleep. Then I’d be in an even worse mood.
8 Fog It looks mysterious and beautiful in movies. In real life it is terrifying.
9 ’80s Revival Indiana Jones, Rocky and Rambo have all recently been resurrected. Now some studio schmos are trying to talk Tom Cruise into making Top Gun 2. Will Xenu be his co-pilot?
10 Erin Burnett Erin takes the sting out of watching the economy slowly collapse. Does anyone know if she can cook a steak? If so, she is the perfect woman.
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