Everything Power Rankings – July 21
By Dan Zinski
Favre backlash. New Beck. Old Tom Cruise. And Brad Childress makes like Hemingway…
| 1 | The Dark Knight | It broke the opening weekend record…maybe not so great an achievement when you realize that the much-maligned Spider Man 3 was the previous record-holder. I’m thinking I’ll hit a matinee second weekend…fewer a-holes to contend with. | |
| 2 | Favre Fatigue | Favre obsession jumped the shark when Timberlake made fun of him at the ESPYs. We can now return to obsessing over normal things like the impending destruction of our civilization. | |
| 3 | Beck – Modern Guilt | Remember when Beck used to be funny and clever? Sorry, but if I want avant-garde pretention,wallpaperiness and zero humor, I’ll listen to Radiohead. | |
| 4 | Milwaukee Brewers | I don’t know if CC Sabathia put them over the top…but he makes them scary. Should be a great dogfight down the stretch between them and the Cubs. | |
| 5 | Chilly the Fisherman | Childress caught a giant fish on vacation in Florida. He says he doesn’t fish much. I guess he’s just lucky. Hopefully, this will carry into the football season. | |
| 6 | Jason Taylor | The Redskins landed Jason Taylor. The NFC East should be crazy. I still don’t see the Skins overtaking the Cowboys or Giants. Washington could be good and still finish 7-9. | |
| 7 | Flents Ear Plugs | What would I do without these little suckers? I’d never get a wink of sleep. Then I’d be in an even worse mood. | |
| 8 | Fog | It looks mysterious and beautiful in movies. In real life it is terrifying. | |
| 9 | ’80s Revival | Indiana Jones, Rocky and Rambo have all recently been resurrected. Now some studio schmos are trying to talk Tom Cruise into making Top Gun 2. Will Xenu be his co-pilot? | |
| 10 | Erin Burnett | Erin takes the sting out of watching the economy slowly collapse. Does anyone know if she can cook a steak? If so, she is the perfect woman. |