The Truthomatic Takes on Chilly

Time to fire up the Truthomatic and let it digest Brad Childress‘s post-game comments about the Packers loss.  First off, Chilly discusses Artis Hicks‘s elbow injury:

I think he’s going to be OK, which is a good thing.  We just have to see how fast he responds.

The Truthomatic translation:  “Our trainers have absolutely no idea what they’re doing.  By the time they’re through Artis may have to have his arm amputated.  Might as well get used to Marcus Johnson playing left tackle.  And by the way, if I were big and strong enough I’d beat the piss out of Bryant McKinnie.  That guy drives me insane.”

See how this works?  Okay.  Next quote – Childress on Adrian Peterson‘s workload:

Obviously the last 6 to 8 minutes of that game we were in a throw mode to try to come back from the two scores. But yeah, I’d say that’s fair [referring to his number of touches]. It could be higher.

Translation:  “What do you people want from me?  Our quarterback can’t do squat in the first half, so we end up having to throw the ball every down.  Believe me, if I had my way, I’d give AD the ball on every play.  It’s much less stressful not having to mix up run and pass.  All that thinking makes my brain hurt.”

Childress on Jared Allen taking responsibility for his crappy play:

You want these guys to be their own worst critic. He hates to lose and takes it personally, as did our whole football team. That’s the goal in this business is to win. We went out to win the football game and we didn’t get it done.

Translation:  “We gave that guy $31 million in guaranteed money.  Would it kill him to give us one damn sack?  Would it absolutely kill him to not get taken to the ground by the blocker on every other play?  I’m pretty sure he wasn’t drinking before the game, but I’ll have to wait until the blood test comes back to be absolutely certain.”

Childress on Tarvaris Jackson‘s running tendencies:

I don’t like to see him absorb those hits. He made some decent plays with his feet.

Translation:  “At least when he’s running he’s not making dumb throws.  Of course there’s always the chance he could get hurt.  Gosh, that would break my heart.”

More on Tarvaris:

A couple throws he’d like to have back. That two-point play in the back of the end zone, and obviously that one [game-ending interception] at the end with Visanthe [Shiancoe].

Translation:  “I can’t believe I actually drafted this guy.  Aliens must’ve kidnapped me and stuck a stupid-stick up my butt and into my brain.  Yeah, that’s it…”

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Tags: Adrian Peterson Artis Hicks Brad Childress Bryant Mckinnie Jared Allen Marcus Johnson Minnesota Vikings Tarvaris Jackson Visanthe Shiancoe

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