Truthomatic on Chilly, Jackson Comments

Brad Childress comments on the Tarvaris Jackson benching:

"I feel like we have an opportunity here that I don’t want to let pass by. Obviously we have a chance to have a successful season and I think so we don’t let things potentially slip away, what we’re doing is I’m going to make a change at quarterback."

Truthomatic translation:  “Zygi Wilf called me and told me he was having dinner with Bill Cowher.  Then he asked me what my plans were regarding  Tarvaris Jackson.  I asked him who the hell Tarvaris Jackson was.  Never heard of the guy.”

Childress:

"I know full well that one position is not responsible and that everyone needs to step up, but I’m just not seeing right now the aggressiveness from Tarvaris that I saw throughout the offseason, training camp, the two preseason games he played in…part of it may be experience and I know Gus will give us that. And I know his approach will also lend itself to that."

Truthomatic:  “I helped the kid all I could but, hey, even Da Vinci muffed a painting now and then, you know?”

Childress:

"It does not have to be a death nail for Tarvaris Jackson. There are many quarterbacks in this league that have experienced bumps in the road, if you will. It’s part of the experience factor and while I know he doesn’t like it, I’d worry about him if he did like it, I know he’ll make the most of it."

Truthomatic:  “I’d be willing to give him a reference, to help him out when he applies at Arby’s or wherever.  As long as his job doesn’t involve trying to accurately judge distances or think while moving, he should be more-or-less okay.”

Now, Tarvaris himself:

"Obviously, I wasn’t happy. But coach feels like it’s the best move for the team, and I’m a team player. Gus, he’s been helping me out, so I’m going to try to do the same for him."

Translation:  “What a relief.  Now I can stand on the sideline in my baseball cap and listen to him get booed by those drunk idiots and he can get the nasty phone calls at 3 am.  And I still get paid too.  I love America.”

Tarvaris describes his mood:

"Obviously, I’m a little frustrated. Obviously, I want to play. I’m a competitor. I love to play football. This is what I do. I’m just going to prepare hard and try to be another guy on the field to help Gus the same way he did me."

Translation:  “You see what we got at receiver?  Bernard Berrian‘s got nine toes left if he’s lucky, Bobby Wade sucks so bad he got dumped by the Bears, and Visanthe Shiancoe couldn’t hold onto the ball with gloves dipped in pine pitch.  Yeah, and it was all my fault.”