Brett Favre and the Vikings would just as soon ignore the Deadspin story accusing Favre of sending inappropriate pictures and voicemails to one-time New York Jets employee Jenn Sterger as part of an apparent seduction gone wrong – and frankly so would I. But, because the NFL has deemed the Deadspin allegations serious enough to warrant investigation, I guess I have to at least mention them, if only to remark on how I wish I didn’t have to mention them. So, here goes: I wish this story would just go away so we could all, as Mike Tice might say, enjoy the season. I wish Jenn Sterger would come out in person and shoot down the whole thing – though even that would not be enough now, with this new story surfacing claiming Favre also had questionable electronic contact with a pair of Jets-contracted massage therapists (eat your heart out Al Gore). Mostly, I wish we could have one damn week without a bunch of extra drama. Just one damn week where all we have to talk about is the offensive line or some pulled hamstring or a dumb replay challenge by Brad Childress – you know, normal football stuff.
But no…we get Shlong-gate, which is threatening to make the Love Boat debacle look like an episode of The Love Boat. And, what’s worse, all this stuff has to come down the same week we make a trade for Randy Moss. We should be sitting here giddy with anticipation over a reloaded passing game, a reinvigorated Favre and a renewal of our playoff hopes, but instead, all we can think about is what might happen if the NFL finds some fire behind the Deadspin smoke and decides to discipline our quarterback. Yes, somehow, the possibility of Favre actually getting suspended has found its way into the mix. The bad elbow, bum ankle and lack of chemistry with Bernard Berrian stuff weren’t bad enough. How about a nice little sex scandal frosting on top of your angst-cake, Viking Nation?
Angst-cake I can choke down, but that rancid frosting? That’s a little hard to swallow. And I have to imagine that, if I’m this irritated by the whole thing, Zygi Wilf, Brad Childress and the rest of The Brain Trust must be just about mad enough to smack someone. Of course, in Favre’s presence, I’m sure they’re being nothing but supportive – anything less might very well send the Old Blackberryslinger back to Hattiesburg where he can lock himself inside his compound, and if any reporters come sniffing around, he can chase them off with his Toro. Don’t think it hasn’t crossed Favre’s mind either, retiring now rather than face up to any more potential embarrassment. What would it take, do you think, for Zygi and Chillz to convince Favre that he should just grin and bear it? Another couple of million? Okay, I admit, that was too cynical. If all Favre cared about was money he would’ve taken the big pay-off the Packers offered him and walked away. I think he still honestly wants to play, for the same reasons he always wanted to play, including personal glory and making the doubters pay. But I also believe his threshold for putting up with crap is probably lower now than it has ever been. The question is, at what point does the crap-pile become so tall he decides it’s not worth trying to climb anymore?
That’s what we have to ask, instead of the stuff we’d like to ask like “Will Randy Moss finally shut up Darrelle Revis?” or “What will our defense do to that little pretty boy Mark Sanchez?” Yes, I realize that when you buy Brett Favre you buy a lot of other stuff you don’t necessarily want, but I think it’s safe to say, this is more than even the most diehard Favre supporters bargained for. This is so much drama that, pretty soon, we’re going to wish all we had to worry about was a little schism here and there. We’re going to pine for the good old days when all we had to fret over was the occasional across-the-body interception with time running out in the NFC Championship Game. But hey, no matter how bad it gets? We have Randy Moss back! Okay, so maybe Tarvaris Jackson ends up throwing to him instead of Favre and we miss the playoffs, but still…Randy Moss, baby.