10 Fun Things to Do On Your Bye Week (That Don't Involve Boats, Strippers Or Public Sex)

Certain members of the Vikings made Al and Alma more famous than they deserved to be a couple years back. In the interest of avoiding a repeat of that embarrassment, allow me to suggest some different diversions Viking players may partake of during their bye week this time around:

1. Take a walk in the park. Or, if you’re Chester Taylor, Tony Richardson or Robert Ferguson, wheel yourself through the park.

2. Have a quiet dinner at home. Do try to avoid eating anything that might give you food poisoning though – especially the kind that becomes activated at the sight of Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila (this means you Bryant).

3. Watch some TV with the family. Nova is a good show – it’s entertaining and educational. Or, if you’re Ryan Cook, maybe Teletubbies would be more your speed (just be careful when you’re dancing Ryan – vases are expensive).

4. Catch up with old teammates. Like Randy Moss. Whatever happened to him anyway?

5. Play catch. Or, if you’re Troy Williamson…well, you know the rest.

6. Do some yard-work. Raking leaves can be fun, especially when you make a big pile and jump on it. Then someone else can jump on the pile. Then someone else. Then everyone can wait around for ten minutes while a couple guys in striped shirts wave their arms in the air and yell, “Play’s over.”

7. Read a book. I’ve got the perfect one for Brad Childress:

8. Learn a new craft. Floral arranging maybe. Or basket-weaving. Or, if you’re a Viking linebacker, the mysterious art of covering tight ends.

9. Visit a place you’ve never been before. Niagara Falls maybe. Or the Grand Canyon. Or, if you’re a Viking wide receiver, the endzone.

10. Meditate. There’s nothing more relaxing than taking a few minutes out of your day to sit quietly and think of happy things. Like bathing in babbling mountain streams. Strolling through gently waving fields of grass. Watching clouds scud across the summer sky. Looking across your desk at Bill Cowher and saying, “Welcome to the organization, coach…”