Year-End Awards


It’s time now to hand out The Viking Age‘s year-end awards for excellence and not-excellence in professional football. Winners will receive a tiny gold statue of Ragnar and a certificate suitable for framing or making a paper airplane out of.

Achievement in Making Falcons Fans Forget About Michael Vick and Not in a Good Way

Bobby “The Weasel” Petrino

Worst Imitation of a Playoff Team

Minnesota Vikings

Biggest Richard

Terrell Owens

Biggest Boner

Joe Gibbs calling two straight time-outs while attempting to ice Buffalo’s kicker, hence incurring a 15-yard penalty, hence giving the Bills a shorter game-winning field goal

Biggest Boner of the Other Kind

The one Tony Romo had for Jessica Simpson that caused all the blood to leave his brain, making him play like crap during Dallas’s loss to Philly

Most Sickening Story

Michael Vick

Happiest Story

Kevin Everett being able to walk again

Saddest Story

Sean Taylor

Best Player No One Talks About

Brandon Marshall

Worst Player Everyone Talks About

Ricky Williams

Coolest Team

Cleveland Browns

Biggest On-Going Load of Crap

The notion that the Arizona Cardinals are about to bust out and become big-time NFC contenders

Worst Prediction

Jon Kitna saying the Lions would win 10 games

Worst Claim of Divine Intervention

Jon Kitna saying the Lord cured him of a concussion

Lamest Player

Eli Manning (runner-up: Jon Kitna)

Lamest Team

Kansas City Chiefs (runner-up: Denver Broncos)

Weakest Reason for a Huge Celebration

The Dolphins finally winning a game

Team I Couldn’t Think of an Award for So I Gave Them This

Jacksonville Jaguars

Most Sickeningly Overplayed Story

Will the Patriots go 16-0?

Worst Fans

Ticket-scalping Giants fans

Story Most Likely to Make People Nostalgic for their College Fraternity Days

Jets’ Gate D Scandal

Worst Public Relations Move

The Vikings fining Troy Williamson for loving his grandma (rescinding it didn’t help)

Smartest Personnel Move

Goodbye Charlie Frye, hello Derek Anderson

Biggest Dope

Mark Schlereth

Second-Biggest Dope

Bryant Gumbel

Good Citizenship Award

Randy Moss

Silliest, Most Contrived Feud

T.O. v. Keyshawn

Special Citation for Lifetime Achievement in Slurping

The entire sports media for their endless licking of Brett Favre

Greatest Disappearing Act

The Bears defense

Most Interesting Revelation

The Colts really don’t seem to need Marvin Harrison at all

Most Tiresome Individual

Chad Johnson (runners-up: All Cowboys fans)


Tom Brady


Entire Dolphins team

NFL MAP (Most Awesome Player)

Adrian Peterson aka Purple Jesus