Not a day goes by that I don’t think to myself, “I wonder what former Vikings tight end Jermaine Wiggins has been up to?” And today I finally got my answer – Jermaine, it turns out, has been training to make his debut in MMA. Yes, I checked – it’s the same Jermaine Wiggins who caught 186 balls and 5 TDs over three seasons for the Purple. Jermaine has been out of football since failing to catch on with Jacksonville in 2007, but clearly, he has not stopped receiving blows to the head. Otherwise he would have more sense than to try MMA. And when I say MMA, I mean real MMA – not some mulleted guys who’ve hammered together a ring out of plywood in their backyard, and park a bunch of pick-ups around it so they can light it with their headlights (free beer for every woman not wearing a bra and post-fight fireworks courtesy of Two-Fingers Terry). Apparently, Jermaine is more serious than that. He recently worked with a trainer named Tommy Rojas who praised his skills:
"He is such an amazing athlete. Because of his understanding of movement and body control, he is at the same point of most people with over a year of training. His only weakness is lack of ring time."
Jermaine always was pretty nimble for a tight end, and sure-handed too. Unfortunately, MMA doesn’t involve catching passes from Daunte Culpepper and trying to elude defenders to get first downs. It involves being hit in the face with fists. Kicked. Sleeper-held. Did Jermaine ever see that video of the one guy with the gash on his forehead and the ref says, “I can see skull?” He knows he doesn’t get to wear a helmet, right?
I always sort of suspected Jermaine was nuts – now I know for sure. Dude’s certifiable. But, he’s still not as crazy as Brock Lesnar who is actually going to fight Randy Couture, the baddest dude since Ivan Drago. Yes, I know Ivan Drago is a fictional character. That’s how bad Couture is – I can’t think of a single real person to compare him to.