If you thought Fran Tarkenton was done mixing it up with the Branch Favreidians…well, you were way off. Fran ain’t afraid. Fran is here to tell it like it is. To the sportswriters who have been bashing Fran in the wake of his anti-Favre remarks:
"I had an opinion that was not in agreement with Brett Favre’s opinion. Now, have the sportswriters and sportscasters across the country, have they just sucked up to Brett Favre and glorified Brett Favre on this subject matter — don’t they have an opinion? They certainly haven’t expressed it have they?"
To Marcellus Wiley, who called Fran a “grumpy old man”:
"Marcellus Wiley, who is trying to parlay a minimal football career into still making more money. This grumpy old man is 69 years old, I own six businesses, I’ve built 16 over the years, I’m paying my taxes, I’ve started two new businesses, we’re hiring more people, we’re not laying them off, we’re not cutting their salaries — we’re increasing their salaries, and in this society we are productive when so many people are not productive. I’m not playing croquette down at Orlando at the Villages, I’m not playing golf every day, I’m out there as a 69 year old … making money out of sports or with sports — I’m creating and building businesses from the ground up: that’s this grumpy old man."
To the people who have accused him of turning on the Vikings:
"The way I really said that is that I do hope he goes and I hope it works out. Because I think that will burn every bridge he has in Green Bay, and it should. Why would they want to be loyal in the memory of Brett Favre through his great career after he’s put them through this? Last year he tried to go to the arch-rival Vikings, underhandedly tried to do that — talking to the coaches, talking to his former assistant coach, behind the back of the Packers. And now this year, evidently they’re in talks, so if he goes there and you’re a Green Bay Packers fan, how would you feel about Brett Favre?"
Don’t worry Fran – when the B.F.s come after you, you can just stay at my place, like when Salman Rushdie had to bunk down with Bono while the nutbag Muslims were trying to fatwah his ass out of existence. We can eat popcorn and watch old episodes of That’s Incredible! We can do each other’s nails. It’ll be fun.