Randy Moss “Vomited On” the Vikings’ Locker Room, Says Childress

Last night Brad Childress made his debut as an analyst for NFL Network, and the former Viking coach didn’t waste any time generating headlines. Chilly’s biggest bombshell regarded Randy Moss, the man he gave away a 3rd round pick for amid last year’s turmoil only to cut a month later for various transgressions including ripping Childress in public statements. According to Chilly, the worst thing about Moss wasn’t his disinterested play, it was his effect on the locker room. In describing Moss’ negative influence on team morale, Chilly resorted to a metaphor that can only be described as colorful and a tad disgusting.

“We had good guys by and large,” Childress explained, “ walked in the locker room and vomited on it.”

It’s nice to know Chilly hasn’t lost his way with words.

Brad’s comments about Moss might seem like sour grapes – after all, the Moss debacle did get him fired – but Chilly balanced that off by actually taking responsibility for one aspect of the entire catastrophic Randy Redux experiment. In a rare mea culpa moment for the stubborn former coach, Childress admitted he should’ve “gone up the chain” in dealing with Moss, rather than act unilaterally as he did. Chilly’s failure to consult Zygi Wilf or Rick Spielman on the Moss decision is believed to have been the thing that finally pushed Wilf into sending Childress packing.

So good job by Chilly copping to his arrogance in handling the Moss mess. It would’ve seemed a little less weasely had he not done it as an obvious ploy to drum up interest in his future TV appearances, but whatever. That’s how the game is played. And Chilly definitely needs all the help he can get drumming up interest in himself as an in-studio analyst. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but Chilly’s demeanor and verbal delivery don’t exactly scream “dynamic on-air personality.” To me he sounds like a bored chemistry teacher slogging his way through a lecture on covalent bonds that he knows nobody is listening to but he doesn’t care cause he’s just trying to get to his open period so he can slip down to the lounge for a candy bar and some Angry Birds on his iPhone.

I have to ask the obvious question now: Why did NFL Network hire Brad Childress as an analyst? Yes I know Brad knows a thing or two about football (?) but doesn’t presentation matter too? There were no other unemployed coaches or coordinators available that they could’ve hired? Are they deliberately trying to suck all the air out of their in-studio segments? Any Viking fan could’ve told them this was a major mistake. We watched Chilly stammer his way through press conferences for five years and there were times when we literally wanted to shoot ourselves. Unless NFL Network’s intention is to make people change the channel, the Chilly hire is a huge head-scratcher.

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