2012 NFL Mock Draft: Matt Kalil to the Vikings (Cause I Say So)


The time has come to suck it up and do a 2012 NFL Mock Draft. Remember, this mock draft is for entertainment purposes only. In no way should it be used as part of a plan to destroy earth and/or Shawn Zobel. If this mock doesn’t satisfy your draft jones, hit up the good folks at DC Pro Sports Report who maintain a comprehensive mock draft database. The preliminaries are now out of the way, so let’s start guessing I mean mocking…

1. Indianapolis Colts
Andrew Luck (QB – Stanford)
Even Jim Irsay isn’t crazy enough to pass on Luck. Probably.

2. St. Louis Rams
Justin Blackmon (WR – Oklahoma State)
The Rams will probably trade this pick or take Matt Kalil. I’m God of this draft so they’re not taking Kalil.

3. Minnesota Vikings
Matt Kalil (OT – USC)
Here’s your Vikings left tackle for the next ten years. Unless he sucks. But he can’t suck. He’s a can’t-miss.

4. Cleveland Browns
Robert Griffin III (QB – Baylor)
Won the Heisman. Heisman winners never miss.

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Morris Claiborne (CB – LSU)
Played in the two most boring college football games in history.

6. Washington Redskins
Alshon Jeffery (WR – South Carolina)
Everyone thinks the Skins will trade out of this spot. I had to give them someone.

7. Jacksonville Jaguars
Quinton Coples (DE – North Carolina)
Kiper likes him so he must be good.

8. Carolina Panthers
David DeCastro (G – Stanford)
He’s big. He blocks.

9. Miami Dolphins
Ryan Tannehill (QB – Texas A&M)
Everybody likes quarterbacks.

10. Buffalo Bills
Riley Reiff (OT – Iowa)
Love those big uglies from the Big 10.

11. Kansas City Chiefs
Trent Richardson (RB – Alabama)
Played in the two most boring games in college football history.

12. Seattle Seahawks
Devon Still (DT – Penn State)
He’ll be happy to get out of Penn State.

13. Arizona Cardinals
Jonathan Martin (OT – Stanford)
Three Stanford players in the top 13? The hell?

14. Dallas Cowboys
Dre Kirkpatrick (CB – Alabama)
Puff puff pass

15. Philadelphia Eagles
Michael Floyd (WR – Notre Dame)
He’ll be happy to get away from Brian Kelly.

16. New York Jets
Whitney Mercilus (DE – Illinois)

17. Cincinnati Bengals (from Oakland)
Mark Barron (S – Alabama)

18. San Diego Chargers
Nick Perry (DE/OLB – USC)

19. Chicago Bears
Kendall Wright (WR – Baylor)

20. Tennessee Titans
Brandon Thompson (DT – Clemson)

21. Cincinnati Bengals
Lamar Miller (RB – Miami)

22. Cleveland Browns (from Atlanta)
Luke Kuechly (LB – Boston College)

23. Detroit Lions
Peter Konz (C – Wisconsin)

24. Pittsburgh Steelers
Dontari Poe (DT – Memphis)

25. Denver Broncos
Alfonzo Dennard (CB – Nebraska)

26. Houston Texans
Cordy Glenn (G – Georgia)

27. New England Patriots (from New Orleans)
Michael Brockers (DT – LSU)

28. Green Bay Packers
Courtney Upshaw (OLB – Alabama)

29. Baltimore Ravens
Dont’a Hightower (LB – Alabama)

30. San Francisco 49ers
Janoris Jenkins (CB – North Alabama)

31. New York Giants
Chris Polk (RB – Washington)

32. New England Patriots
Mohamed Sanu (WR – Rutgers)

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