Aug 15, 2012; Oxnard, CA, USA; Dallas Cowboys receiver Kevin Ogletree (85) at training camp at the River Ridge Fields. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee/Image of Sport-US PRESSWIRE
By now, one of three things has happened in every fantasy football league.
1. You missed out on Kevin Ogletree because that dude in your league that has no life already picked him up.
2. You picked up Ogletree and, with the He-Man theme song in your head (“I have the POWER!!”), immediately put him in your starting lineup for week 2.
3. You thought about Ogletree for about three seconds then rolled your eyes and realized the Cowboys have Dez Bryant, Miles Austin and Jason Witten.
Or you have no idea what an Ogletree is or why it would have anything to do with this. In which case, I’ll sum up the facts for you. Some guy who plays wide receiver for the Cowboys, we’ll call him Ogletree, pulled an inverse Victor Cruz and actually caught the balls that were thrown his way and those catches seemed more impressive than they were because the Giants secondary was so terribly decimated on opening night. Then people started to freak out about it and fantasy owners wildly scrambled for the waiver wire to pick him up.
I’m happy to report that no one in Hennepin Ave has committed Ogletreason, but sigh, the season is young. For now, let’s all just enjoy an Oglefree zone and get to Hennepin Ave’s Week 1 matchups before someone changes their team name to “The Ogleforest.”
Grumpy Fraziers (0-0) vs. Cbfalcon (0-0)
Grumpy Fraziers – Dan Zinski
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Cam Newton
, Car@TB»
—
RB
Arian Foster
, Hou
QMia»
—
RB
Frank Gore
, SF@GB»
—
WR
Victor Cruz
, NYGDal»
5
WR
AJ Green
, Cin@Bal»
—
TE
Aaron Hernandez
, NE@Ten»
—
FLEX
DeAngelo Williams
, Car@TB»
—
D/ST
Seahawks
@Ari»
—
K
Alex Henery
, Phi@Cle»
—
I have no idea what I’m doing so I’ve decided not to overthink it. I mulled playing Blackmon instead of A.J. Green just because the Vikings have secondary issues but I’m not sure about Blackmon’s health plus he’s a rookie playing his first game. Definitely need Frank Gore in there against the Packer defense cause they can’t stop the run. I’ve been informed my team sucks so this is probably all futile. Unwilling to list players on trading block because I’m afraid of being taken to the cleaners by my more experienced opponents.
Cbfalcon – Cristy Brusoe
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Matthew Stafford
, DetStL»
—
RB
Ray Rice
, BalCin»
—
RB
DeMarco Murray
, Dal
P@NYG»
13
WR
Hakeem Nicks
, NYG
PDal»
3
WR
Marques Colston
, NO
QWsh»
—
TE
Jermichael Finley
, GBSF»
—
FLEX
Ryan Mathews
, SD
D@Oak»
—
D/ST
Ravens
Cin»
—
K
Sebastian Janikowski
, OakSD»
—
McKinnie’s Bathroom Scale (0-0) vs. Recurring Migraines (0-0)
McKinnie’s Bathroom Scale – Paul Howell
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Michael Vick
, Phi@Cle»
—
RB
Darren McFadden
, OakSD»
—
RB
Trent Richardson
, Cle
QPhi»
—
WR
Calvin Johnson
, Det
PStL»
—
WR
Andre Johnson
, Hou
PMia»
—
TE
Jimmy Graham
, NOWsh»
—
FLEX
Vincent Jackson
, TBCar»
—
D/ST
49ers
@GB»
—
K
Dan Bailey
, Dal@NYG»
6
Everything was a no brainer with the exception of Richardson. I was debating between Richardson, Redman and Ridley and decided to go with the best player, regardless of injury concerns. I don’t know how many carries Ridley or Redman will get and as long as Richardson can go he’ll probably end up with the same as the other two.
Recurring Migraines – Levi Satterlee
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Tom Brady
, NE@Ten»
—
RB
Matt Forte
, ChiInd»
—
RB
BenJarvus Green-Ellis
, Cin@Bal»
—
WR
Brandon Marshall
, ChiInd»
—
WR
Brandon Lloyd
, NE@Ten»
—
TE
Rob Gronkowski
, NE@Ten»
—
FLEX
DeSean Jackson
, Phi@Cle»
—
D/ST
Bears
Ind»
—
K
Garrett Hartley
, NOWsh»
—
Matt Forte against the Colts rushing defense? He’s foaming at the mouth already. So am I. Although I’m really excited about BenJarvus Green-Ellis this year, I’m not too stoked about week 1 against Baltimore, but I have no other legitimate options at running back. I’m not too concerned though; I think my three-headed Patriots monster of Tom Brady, Brandon Lloyd and Rob Gronkowski will lead Recurring Migraines to a championship. For my FLEX spot, I’m going with DeSean Jackson because I’m one of the few people in the fantasy universe who believes that, 1. Jackson’s slow start and overall statistical disappointments of last year were a byproduct of his holdout and Vick’s injuries and 2. Michael Vick is capable of having a good fantasy season where he remains on the field for at least 14 games. If those two things hold true, DeSean Jackson will have a great year and will have been a steal for me in the eighth round. In the mean time, both players are healthy, so let’s see that Magic Mike! … Did he just reference a horrendous movie about a male stripper? He sure did, Tom, he sure did.
The Blair Walsh Project (0-0) vs. Love Boats (0-0)
The Blair Walsh Project (Formerly Gronkin Donuts) – Nick McAndrews
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Aaron Rodgers
, GBSF»
—
RB
Fred Jackson
, Buf@NYJ»
—
RB
Peyton Hillis
, KCAtl»
—
WR
Roddy White
, Atl@KC»
—
WR
Percy Harvin
, MinJac»
—
TE
Vernon Davis
, SF@GB»
—
FLEX
Jordy Nelson
, GBSF»
—
D/ST
Texans
Mia»
—
K
Stephen Gostkowski
, NE@Ten»
—
Love Boats – Steve Retka
| SLOT | PLAYER, TEAM POS | OPP | STATUS (ET) | PTS |
QB
Drew Brees
, NOWsh»
—
RB
Doug Martin
, TBCar»
—
RB
Toby Gerhart
, MinJac»
—
WR
Larry Fitzgerald
, AriSea»
—
WR
Julio Jones
, Atl@KC»
—
TE
Jacob Tamme
, DenPit»
—
FLEX
Ben Tate
, Hou
PMia»
—
D/ST
Giants
Dal»
1
K
Matt Bryant
, Atl@KC»
—
While I’m confident in my QB and WRs going into Week 1, my RB situation is a little more up in the air. With Adrian Peterson and Arian Foster both game-time decisions, I’m rolling the dice on their backups in Gerhart and Ben Tate. However, if something changes, I will be switching my Flex player for Michael Turner, who’s a safe bet this early in the season. Needless to say, I’ll be keeping a close eye on the injury reports leading up to game time.
Stay tuned for updates every Friday on the happenings of Hennepin Ave and more Ogletree puns! Unless we can all agree on an Ogletreaty…okay I’m done.
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Levi “Recurring Migraines” Satterlee