Minnesota Vikings Hope the Next Month Will Be Boring and News-Free

Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Zimmer delivered a message to his players as they left minicamp to embark on a month-long vacation before the start of training camp: Be smart for the next few weeks and stay out of trouble.

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These are sentiments I’m sure everyone in the Vikings organization from Zygi Wilf on down would like to echo.

I don’t need to remind you but this team has had some players get involved in some incidents in recent years. You can understand why the coach, and everyone else in the organization, would be extra-adamant about preaching intelligent behavior.

Even though off-field incidents are good for blog traffic, I would like to also urge our players to keep their wits about them and not let themselves get sucked into any bad situations in the next few weeks.

Dear Vikings players, please avoid getting caught up in the following activities during your down time:

Parties on boats involving strippers.

Sex in stairwells.

Driving your vehicle after smoking weed or while in the possession of weed.

Beating on your kids with switches or anything else.

Drunken altercations with police at night spots.

Driving after drinking a lot.

Ingesting banned substances of any kind.

Getting drunk and crashing your car into a planter at a fast food place.

Getting drunk in public and fleeing the police.

Getting in fights at gas stations.

Bumping meter maids with your vehicle.

Driving drunk and fleeing the cops.

Beating on women.

Wearing saggy pants.

Attempting to strangle your own child with a plastic bag.

Player-personnel people will tell you how much they dread these weeks when players are away from the team and don’t have team-related activities to keep their minds occupied. This is the time of year when bad things happen.

Vikings players, just be smart like your coach said and everything will be okay.

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